How Friendships Shape Who You Are Today.

One of my very best friends is celebrating a special birthday soon. Not living close enough to celebrate with her, it's causing me to think a lot about the value of friendships, and how important it is to thank your friends for simply being. It’s made me think about how the friendships people inhabit affect how they grow. How the personalities and values of the people you meet change you for the better, and worse.  It leads me to wonder, are people born with their ethics, values, and personalities, or do they develop through life experiences?

I often think about who I would be if I was born in a different area. Would I still have the same values, and beliefs?  Something I will never forget is when my mom told me “Everybody you meet in your life, is there for one of two reasons.  In order to teach you how you want to carry yourself, and treat people in a positive, or negative way.”  This conversation I had years ago with my mom, (one she might not even remember) is something I frequently look back on, and take into consideration when analyzing somebody's actions.  

My new roommate Mairin shows me ways to better myself socially.  She is such a social, and outgoing person who has taught me new ways to consider friendship.  She is quick to introduce herself, and capable of holding casual friendships in a way that I am still learning.  I admire this about her, and hope to use this in my college life, to get to know a wide variety of people while also practicing my boundary

ies within friendships. 

Dakota, Katelyn, and Maia, my best friend's from home.  This group of girls has grown with me as I became who I am now.  They have seen me through so many phases of my life (some cringey), stood by me without fail through every up and down, and offered advice in every difficult moment.  In a way they introduced me to who I am today, I wouldn't be who I am today without the countless hours I spent growing up with these girls.  Never could I thank them enough for the things they have taught me about friendship.  I carry a piece of each of them with me wherever I go.  

Scout, more of a soul sister than a friend.  My entire life I wished for an older sister.  Somebody to give me advice, share clothes with, and somebody I could just do nothing with.  When I met Scout through field hockey, we didn't have much in common, but we just clicked.  Scout is somebody who shows me how to be welcoming to all, and how to embrace people for who they are.  I know Scout and I will continue to teach eachother things as we grow up.  Something I am forever grateful for.

Everybody I have met has helped me learn more about myself and the person I hope to be.  I believe who you are changes as you grow and meet new people, and experience new things. It's important to expand your experiences so that you can continue to discover new things about yourself, and flourish.  

On a side note, and the entire reason I started this rant; Happiest of (early) birthdays to my lovely Katelyn.  You mean so much to me, thank you for everything. <3

Summer before college;Expectations

I just moved into my freshman dorm, and I’ve had a lot of time to reflect and think about the summer I just had.  Through the few months I had been transiting from High School to college I've done a lot of soul searching, and honestly just trying to figure out what to expect. 

When looking through social media, you see tons of people talking about dorm decoration, extravagant senior trips, and people starting an entire “factory reset” and trying to change their entire identity.  I went to the beach with a group of friends in North Carolina, shopped for what seemed like an endless cycle of dorm “essentials”, and honestly considered buying an entire new wardrobe.  

I will admit I got extremely caught up in the excitement, and anxiety of moving away, and probably tapped into all the overconsumption side of college.  These last few days I've spent packing, and moving into my dorm. I've realized there are more important things you could be doing with the summer before college.  

Everybody says that when you go to college you will learn how to be independent, and start to think for yourself more.  But what's to be said about doing that before college?  Something I tried to do the month or so leading up to move in day, was become more comfortable with independence.  I went to get coffee and snacks on my own, went shopping, and tried to pick up some more personal hobbies like, journaling and reading.  In my mind, the more comfortable I am with myself, and being alone, the easier it would be to make quality friends, and not settle for people that don't accept me for myself.  I hope to be able to say no to things that don't interest me, as well as trying new things.  I'll be able to enjoy alone time and be at peace with myself.

Only time will tell what happens, and if all this thinking was for nothing.  I'm positive the transition to college won't be entirely seamless, but hopefully taking some of the pressure off will help with being more authentic, and enjoying my freshman year.  

The Ulta Beauty Divided

Walking into Ulta, I always find myself making the impossible decision; save money and shop on the cheap side, or break the bank to blend in. - shockingly, I always end up leaving with a little orange bag of overpriced products. When looking at Ulta's consumer psychology, the side of the store where the products have a higher price tag, yields to a more luxurious experience. Ulta Beauty carries both high end, and low end cosmetics, fragrances, body products, nail, and haircare. Although Ulta has two very separated sides when walking in, one for high end beauty, and one for budget beauty, the urge to shop high end is not something their marketing team seems to be ignoring.

Something I've noticed, within Ulta, and even Sephora, is every brand is just making knock offs of other products.  When something new is finally released by some “creative” brand, the internet goes crazy for it, selling it out until we either get bored and move on, or another brand makes a “dupe”.  A great example of this would be the Drunk Elephant D-Bronzi Drops.  I remember walking into Ulta, in December of 2023, moms were running around panicking over a sold out, b​​​ottle of brown lotion.  Looking back on this, it seems absolutely ridiculous, as almost every brand is selling the exact same thing in different bottles, and at different price points.  The Key Largo Glow Bronzing Drops by Tarte Cosmetics, are being sold for a fraction of the price. L'oreal Paris Lumi Glotion, being sold for only $13, but the exact same concept, and extremely similar formula. All these cosmetic products are being sold in different areas of the store, making it difficult to compare prices when selecting what product you buy.  

Elf Cosmetics is a commonly favorite brand that has raving reviews.  Elf is located on the “cheap” side of Ulta.  They are known for making knockoffs of other brands, in hopes to reobtain their prominent title in the beauty world (it seems to be working).  As a brand, it doesn't seem like they are trying to hide this strategy either.  They make an almost identical product, use extremely similar packaging, and name it something that alludes to the idea of the “original” product. 

According to a 2012 study, in Psychological Science, people tend to buy counterfeit, or “dupes” to enhance their image.   It also has the unintended consequences of making us feel like something we are not.  It makes me wonder if  Ulta separating their High End products, from their affordable, oftentimes Dupes, is to make impressionable young people think they need to buy the “original” for the best results.  There are only so many products that can be sold in the beauty world before brands run out of ideas, and cycle back through, being inspired by past products, and brands.

I personally am going to make an effort to shop with more intent behind my purchases, and put more thought into if the high price tag is for the product, or if it's for the brand name on the packaging. 

Fast Fashion;Whats going on

Every time I log onto Tiktok, Instagram, or even my beloved Pinterest, I'm flooded with all the new fast fashion trends, and the microtrends that are not only causing impressionable people to waste money, but damage the environment.  It's hard to tell what the bigger issue is, whether it's the fact that these trends are cheaply made, quickly established, and just as quick to go.  Or maybe it's the increased consumerism and excessive spending on items that will just end up in a landfill. Why do the younger generations especially feel so compelled to feed into these trends, and how are we supposed to know what stores are safe to shop at?

Personally, when I hear “Fast-Fashion” I think of stores like Shein, Romwe, Forever 21, H&M, Fashion-nova, and Zara.  But how can somebody really tell where they are shopping?  It's impossibly hard to figure out if the newest trend is something timeless, that will stick, or if it's just another microtrend, that will blow past us within the month.  Generally the best ways to tell, are just by looking around the store, and at the price tags on the garments.  Clothing production takes a lot of work to be done ethically, it's a lot of human labor.  When prices are shockingly low, it almost always means that corners are being cut, and somebody is not getting paid a livable wage. Stores selling fast fashion, almost always have tons of microtrends, examples of this being checkered print, chunky plastic rings, and almost anything that's part of the constant flow of meteoric popularity. To keep up with these fast moving trends, clothing stores have to pump out clothes so quickly.  Stores like this are oftentimes going to have a TON of inventory, they are putting out new clothes at such a rapid rate, trying to beat the trends but oftentimes just can't keep up.  Leaving themselves no option but to mark down items, and try again.  

 The fast fashion industry is said to be responsible for  8-10% of the world's carbon admission.  Hearing this would make almost everybody want to vow to only shop 100% ethical brands, but this just isn't a realistic thing for the average American to do. It's impossible to say all, but most, and every ethical, eco friendly brand that i've come across, prices their clothes with outrageously high prices, that just aren't going to be in budget for most.  The reasoning behind this being, these brands make an effort not to over produce.  Rather, they make just enough to meet demand. Making products in small quantities.  Making it harder for them to find factories, on top of paying every employee a fair wage with ample benefits, providing a safe working condition, they all ensure they are being environmentally responsible for their materials.  Putting this much intention behind any business would call for a higher cost of production, therefore justifying the higher price tags.  

So what are the young Americans, on a budget expected to do; where are they supposed to shop? For most it's an unrealistic expectation to exile fast fashion, and buy a pastor raised, hand made, alpaca wool sweater every winter.  If everybody does their part, of shopping in vintage stores, repurposing, or handing down old clothes, and buying with intent this issue would be drastically changed.  Saving hundreds of thousands of people from unsafe working conditions, and saving the environment from the fashion industry. 

Plus- Who can even keep up with all these trends.